Correcting When You've Been Living Without Intention
I have never been intentional in my life. I know that’s a very broad sweeping comment to make, but I feel like it’s true! It’s something I’ve realized as I’m on this journey of living my year with more intention (it’s my word of the year).
When I think back over my short 31 years, I realize I have never been intentional with anything I’ve done. I’ve just kind of waited for things to happen, or taken what’s been presented to me. I think back to college...
Being Unintentional Begins
When it was time to go to college, I never really put weight into where I probably wanted to go at the time, which was culinary school. I chose to go where my friends went, the college we were supposed to go to because it was the best school at the time. I was going to get a degree in civil engineering, but after having a mini crisis and realizing it wasn’t for me I decided to opt for a degree in biology. It was very broad and required more specialization if I wanted to do anything with the degree.
I was never even intentional when it came to dating either. I didn’t date to understand what what is important to me. Instead I dated people that presented themselves, showed interest in me (I kinda had this thing in my mind of being not being wanted) and I was interested in as well. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had some great experiences, but until Kevin, I was never really intentional about the person I was looking for or the experience I wanted to have.
Even still, much of our relationship has been flying by the seat of our pants! We knew we wanted children, but hadn’t planned to get pregnant at the time. I can go on, but you’re starting to get the point, I’m sure. One of the main reasons I decided to focus on being intentional this year was because I realized all of the amazing things that have happened without us planning, so I’m curious to see what turns life takes when we are intentional.
The point is that I’ve gone through life not being intentional, and going through this process of trying to live a year more intentionally (hopefully it will carry through in my life) has made that glaringly clear.
Even things as simple as my wardrobe. None of my clothing purchases were well thought out purchases. They were impulse buys because I thought I needed or wanted them at the time. And now, I have a closet full of clothes that I don’t really enjoy wearing. Most of which don’t even fit properly after having Grayson and there is no motivation lose the weight because I’m not in a rush to get back into any of the clothes.
I guess as I’m sitting here I can think of one specific area where I am most intentional in my life and that has been with my diet (no, not a diet to lose weight, I’m just meaning the way I eat). Don’t get me wrong, I have some work to do here too, but overall, I’ve been most intentional with the way I eat.
A Year of Intention
So, what does this long rambling bring me to? I’m getting there, I promise. In this year of being more intentional I am assessing the areas of life where I want to bring in more intention. They are as follows:
Haha, essentially everything! The list may grow, but these are my main focuses. After doing a self-assessment of January and seeing how I fared being intentional with my finances, I realized that I am worlds away from where I want to be (to the tune of $700 away from my original goal, YIKES!). What a harsh reality check.
Knowing those eight categories, below you’ll find my intention for each that I will use to help guide me through the rest of the year.
My intention is to spend time studying and learning about the tools I need to expand my mind and learn the skills I need to ultimately craft the life I crave and feel I’m being lead towards. This means being intentional with my time! Bye-bye Instagram and Facebook from my phone! Eventually I’ll download you again, but for now I need to focus on other things.
My intention is to take better care of my body and overall health. I want to get back in shape and feel good in my skin, which will involve a mix of structured workouts at the gym, at home workouts and yoga. I also want to eat foods that nourish my body and feed my soul. That means making better food choices and listening to what my body intuitively wants.
Everything in my being is craving more spiritual connection and ritual. That means spending time in mediation, silence, journaling or talking to the Universe, God, the angels and my spirit guides. It means not forsaking my spiritual nature for other things in life. (Side note, you can see some of my self-care and spiritual practices over here)
I have NEVER been intentional with my career. I’ve always just taken opportunities that have presented themselves. Though I’ve felt all of them were divinely orchestrated, I had no vision of what I wanted to create. In fact, whenever I have tried to follow my calling in this area, I’ve hidden away or only gone so far because of fear. No more.
This year I want to really dial in on what I want. I’m currently freelancing and enjoying it, but I want to figure out how to be more intentional with it while creating something that I love, can grow and enjoy. This will mean saying no to offers that don’t feel right, following the nudges I get from spirit and really putting in the work to create, grow and nurture an online business, blog and community.
I have more career goals for the future, but this is that starting point.
This is probably the area that I’ve been the most focused on, but still managed to fail at miserably! This is something Kevin and I have to do together, and we are. We have very specific goals we want to accomplish this year which require weekly check ins as we adjust to this new way of life. We realized this after waiting until the end of January to do a financial check in only to realize that we had each over spent SIGNIFICANTLY! So yeah, that happened. Now we are having weekly check ins to develop the muscle. (Side note, let me know if you’re interested in knowing a little bit more about what we are doing for our financial check ins)
I have very few pieced in my wardrobe that I love. In fact, most of the items coming to mind right now are leisure wear and I don’t think those can count as items I love. My intention for this year is to discover my style and curate a wardrobe that I love. To pick a color scheme, make planned purchases and stay with in budget. I want to create a timeless capsule wardrobe that will contain pieces I love no matter what are the trends. I want to feel good in and about my clothes.
I’ve probably been more intentional in this area too because furniture and homeware pieces are such an investment. Though, I do impulse by on things that aren’t large purchases. My goals for this year are to plan out the feel and aesthetic of the rooms I am focusing on, window shop to get ideas and set a budget. The room I’m starting with this year is the office. I feel really feel the nudge from spirit to focus on this room, so that is what I am doing.
To make this happen I am going to set aside a portion of all the money I make so that I can save the money to complete this room.
Motherhood and raising our children is so important to me, and an area in which I’m already intentional. In fact, all of these other categories are tightly intertwined with motherhood because they all help me create the type of home and experience I want for our family. My intention is to continue to be present when I am with him, put down the phone and enjoy each phase because they are pass by so quickly.
This is another big one. With relationships I’m not only focusing on my relationship with Kevin, but friendships as well. This is one things that I really want to cultivate this year, meaningful friendships. It’s an area I’ve always been lacking in, but intend to call in this year.
All of these are so interconnected, and I think that is what I’m realizing as I go through this exercise with myself. You know, I was sitting, trying to plan out topics to write about, but I struggled. Truthfully, I think this piece needed to come to me first so that I could see all of the areas of my life I’m focusing on.
Have you been intentional in your life? Have you done this sort of self-assessment? I’m really curious to see where people fall. Now that I’m abundantly aware, I have a general idea of where to start. I don’t want to reach the end of my life, look back and realize that I just let life happen. I want to be able to look back on life and know that I maximized it to the fullest potential and realized my soul's purpose.