Life in The Shadows - What Shadow Work Looks Like

Shadow Work

I did not anticipated all of the emotions I would feel when I started out on the journey. There is a lot of shadow work -- the deeply hidden emotional work that influences all of your actions and reactions -- that pops up. Especially when you’re asking for it to come forward.

It’s part of doing the work on this journey of healing and reactivating your intuitive gifts. Heck, regardless of whether or not you are trying to activate your intuitive gifts, it’s just part of LIFE. I think you just become more aware of it when you make a commitment to start on this journey.

I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that I cried on my birthday. My birthday was not a bad day, by any means. It was just a day that was the perfect catalyst for a lot of this emotional work -- shadow work -- to pop up.

The Shadow Appears

When I woke up on my birthday, Kevin very sweetly, wished me a happy birthday. We spent time lying in bed, but I kept feeling the itch to grab my phone and jump on Facebook to see who had wished me a happy birthday. It may not seem odd. It’s probably a normal reflex we all have in the social media age we live in. However, it felt odd for me to be doing this. Especially when I had my loving boyfriend snuggling and wishing me a happy birthday, AND I had decided at the beginning of the year to delete Facebook and other social media from my phone. Again, going back to being more intentional this year.

I had that moment where I recognized how fucked up it was to want to see who had wished me a happy birthday on social media. I don’t even interact with 98% of the people I’m friends with in social media. DOUBLE FUCKED UP. Clearly there’s something there that I need to unpack.

However, because of the busy life that is being “mom” I had to jump out of bed and get my son ready for school. I had spent the morning lounging not taking time for me (learn more about that realization here and how the morning unfolded here).

Facing the My Shadow

When I got home from taking Grayson to his Kids Day Out program (a twice a week childcare that he attends. Check out this post!)  I started journaling to work through and examine my feelings. The words started to pour out, but I wasn’t able to write them out fast enough. In that moment I felt inspired to record myself. My thought was, I can speak much faster than I can write.

Let me tell you, the experience of speaking my feelings, especially as someone who doesn’t always take the time to do that, was SO cathartic. Don’t get me wrong, it was emotional too, but it was so much more impactful to speak it.

I’ve included the audio recording from that day in this post with a lead in I created. For any of you that may be starting on this journey and don’t know what it looks like, hopefully this helps illuminate one possibility.

This isn’t necessarily what shadow work looks like for everyone. This is just one of my own experiences encountering a block that I need to work through. I hope you find it helpful.

You begin to realize as you do this work is that the opportunity to do this work has always been there. The triggering moments have been happening all of your life. The shift is that now you are NOTICING. You are paying attention, creating Self-Awareness and working to reprogram those behaviors and thought patterns that are no longer serving you.



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