The Myths We've All Been Sold

Whether you realize it or not, there are a few myths that we have all been sold. It started long ago, in fact, almost from infancy. If you take a moment and think back to your earliest memories as a child, you can probably think of a time when people started telling you these myths.

 

Do you have any idea what the myths are? Some of you may have an idea, but let's get everyone else in the loop.

The Myths We've All Been Sold:

  • You're each unique and special.

  • Everyone in life gets a trophy.

  • Everyone cares about you.

Now, in this moment, some of you are looking at the list and thinking 1 of 2 things. (1)This person has no idea what they are talking about. Or, (2) she is simply jaded. However, I am not coming to you from a bitter and resentful place. I am speaking from the experience of someone that has learned these things, figured out how to move past them and gotten to the truth.

What is the truth? Well, before we go into the truth, let's take a look at the myth's themselves and the reality of these myths. 

 

The Reality

 

We're each unique and special.

You're probably thinking that this person has no idea what they are talking about! I can rattle off a list of 40-50 things that are unique and special about me. However, the reality is that you're not special. Showing up on time and doing enough to get by isn't enough to make you special. The mere act of you showing up somewhere or doing something doesn't make you unique. There are millions of people thatare doing the bare minimum just like you. I'm sure you've encountered many of them, but you've probably never looked at yourself with the same magnifying glass that you look at others and really examined yourself.

 

Everyone in life gets a trophy.

In little league, dance or the spelling-bee you all probably got a trophy. This instilled in you the idea that everyone gets a trophy in life, or simply put, everyone wins.  Your parents and their friends did you a great disservice when they made that decision because the reality is not everyone in life gets a trophy. Not everyone wins.

The vast majority of you will fail. You'll not only fail once, but you'll fail repeatedly. Some of you will fall flat on your face and you'll get up, not even realizing you've fallen. Why? Because that is the nature of the game. When have you ever had to work for something? Giving you the trophy for showing up taught you that showing up was enough, and it's not.

 

Everyone cares about you.

This one is a complete and total fallacy, yet again, you're probably sitting there thinking, "That's not true, I have 600 IG followers. Everyone cares about me."  Your parents meant well when they made you feel as though everyone cares about you, but they didn't realize the ramifications of thatdecision.

The reality is that no one, outside of your immediate family and friends, cares about you. Think of the last time you walked through your local mall on a crowded Saturday. Think about all of the people. You don't know any of them. They do not care about you. They don't care why you are upset. They don't care if you passed your calculus test. They don't care what school you went to, or what you feel you've accomplished.

Why? Because everyone has so many things going on in their own lives to be worried about what is going on in yours. Think about yourself. Think about what you are most concerned about, right now, in this moment. I bet you that your thought started with 'my'.

That is why no one cares about you.

 

The Truth

 

We're each unique and special.

The truth is that you are special, but most of the time, people walk around thinking that they are inherently special. An 'A' in calculus doesn't make you special. Graduating from college doesn't make you special. These are all accomplishments, but these aren't the things that make you special.

Think about it. How many people were in your graduating class? Now think about how many schools there are around the world. The truth, graduating simply shows that you are capable of putting in time to get something done. Hundreds of thousands of people did the same thing. How does that make you special?

Everyone has gifts that make them special. However, you have to figure out what these unique qualities are about you that make you unique. In Linchpin, Seth Godin talks about the unique gifts we all have. Our ability to use our unique gifts and give them away to the world is the art that each of us possesses. It's up to you to figure out what that gift is and how you can use it in life.

 

Everyone in life gets a trophy.

Not everyone in life gets a trophy, many people fail. In fact, so many fail and get caught up in the failure, that they let that failure act as an anchor holding them in place. Failure is a part of life you have to accept. However, the silver-lining is that failure opens the door for success.

Michael Jordan says one of my favorite things about failure. Michael Jordan says, "I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed." You learn what doesn't work through your failures and the failures of those around you. You might not know what will ultimately help you succeed, but you know you need to try something else. Keep trying, and you will eventually find success.

 

Everyone cares about you.

This one, I believe, is the myth that people have the most difficult time coming to terms with. The reality is no one cares about you. Everyone has so much going on in their lives, that they don't have time to care about you.

However, people do start to care when you add value to their lives. This piece, the value, is the component that most people miss. Many of us walk around assuming that everyone automatically cares about us. That's absurd. Think about yourself. Do you care about everyone you see? No. However, you probably care about the people that add something to your life.

Your relationships in life will help propel you forward. You have to figure out how to get people to care about you because those relationships with people will help you succeed. Care about people, and that will open the door for them to care about you.

 

The myths we are all sold started along time ago. However, now that you are aware of them and realize the reality and truth of those myths, you can use them to your advantage. Don't be the person that walks around unaware. Be informed. Realize that you are special, you can succeed, and you can interact with people in a way that opens their minds to caring about you. Now all you have to do is apply these truths to your life.

As always, Adulting Done Right is here to help you on this journey of adulthood. Adulting can be hard, but it doesn't have to suck.

What do you think? Were you aware of these myths? What are some changes you have made in your own life that have helped you with #adulting?